end of exam

Today marks the end of all year 2.1 exams, as well as the halfway mark for the entire poly life! Just gotta push on and work harder for the following sems :) dont wanna talk about papers cause idw give myself false hope or false saddness. Hehe~

Went home after AAA, ate and then headed out to meet sbt at plaza. Got my Ben and Jerry to sort of celebrate. Hahaha :) went to her hse to supposingly teach her for her olvl~ gosh so many things i forgot liao sia! Kns. Nvm laaa at least i enjoyed myself! Ash came later and we just crapped and teached. Spent 6+ hours there siaaaa!! Goshhh nowadays, i keep thinking of sbt and the times we had tgt. Freeakkk such thoughts needs to get out of my head! She got bf liao and she is no longer mine!!>< tskk.... still~ some memories can nvr be forgotten. :/

YAYYYY finally gonna have tennis tml! Been looking forward to it all week long sia! Whole body itching to whack some balls and exercise!! But i still need to train for my shooting too! :( wanna make it to the HTNS club's team and earn myself a better rifle. NP standard is seriously bullshit la and the stuff they provide cab hardly train anyone for a low-stansard competition. How dare they still demand results when we have such crappish training!?! I want go for internation and even national competition de leh! Wanna gun for NYT and go overseas with ahma, panda and sbt for competition!! :P

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FiT

And finally its the last stretch of poly year 2.1! This sem passed rather fast and im glad it happened this way. Didnt feel as close to rest of the class as before. Was with old friends more. Idk laaaaa~ anw tml is FIT exam le. I did what i could and i hope for the best :/ no one else to blame but myself for not being more serious in studies and my lack of selfcontrol... oh well! Last chiong. FIT, followed by PMKT the next day and lastly AAA. Progressively less confident subjects are heading my way and i gotta prepare for it...

Been hanging out with ash and ahma recently. Be it studying or just slacking. Old friends are still the best. More trustworthly and understandable. Can always rely on them... turning back time to sundayyyy~

went out with ahma, ash and sbt... sbt ahhhh>< another one of those i used to love so much but only to end up being betrayed. Oh well.  Went to safra yishun! While ahma trained, we studies for awhile before bowling~ so long no bowl liao siaaa :p loved my second game cause got back my old avg of 122. Hahha:) lunch was manhatten and me forever ordering their fish and chips :) too awesome le~ back to safra after that, pool for 1hr before back to studying. Me and ash kept 'bullying' sbt and vice versa.. gosh it felt as thou it was the time when wr where still tgt. Damn. That was my most fun r/s >< anw~ dinner at home before meeting back at ahma hse to supposingly study. End up watching movie shown on channel 5... abd yes... movie, sofa, me and sbt sit tgt, some stuff happen but shall not elaborate.

Back to now. Talking to mutu again :p more... private topic? Lol. Managed to trick her into telling me more stuff than normal >< kinda bad but wth. Just concern and it is smt i would find out sooner or later.
Every cell in my body is wanting to reach out and grab you back you know :( how much i would hate it if youre with someone else but still, nothing i can do. Goshhh :/ loved too deeply in the past. Scars remained and caused me to be like this. damn!

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som down

Yayyy done with SOM for today~ 3 more papers to go !! Woke up to djj's msg, but slept back again for like 1.5hours cause it was raining~ *perfect weather to sleep* hahaaha. Read thru notes again before heading to starbucks to get my coffee before exam! Its like become a habit liaoah!!:p paper was...meh? Can do la, just hope i can pass can le! Finished rather quickly i guess? Handed up the answer sheet with 40min to spare.

Rewarded myself with a trip to range to train! Shooting really takes everything off my mind and just lets me relax in a way~ but its such an expensive sport :( Everyday time i train, $2 for lane and another $2 for gun. Everyday training session $4 sia! I train consecutive 3days = $12 fly :( i still want get my own shooting specs. Just the frame $200. Lens must ownself make. Full suit 1k+ . And if really want my own gun ? 8K! Waaaa siao laaa :( havnt even count pallet and target card. Goshhh~ ANYWAYYYYY. Recently freaking addicted to GC MILK MELON TEA! Awesome max man that drink :D

I really miss the old times when things wete much simplier and more enjoyable. Life now is so chaotic and unhappy. This cannot, that cannot. Wtf~ :/ what can really make me happy? Idk :( only know how to spoil myself by spending big bucks but i know thats not the way >< gahh i just want a simple life, settle down and live on... Thou finding a gf wont happen so soon~ my heart is just dead if not for you. And no one else can replace that hole you made when you left :( *damn* why am i so persistent and stubborn... too loyal ba HAHAHAA . [self assurance]

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affected

Idk what but its always the same story. Forever so easily affected by you... its might be just going out, or as a matter of fact, not going out tgt, but i was really looking forward to it even thou it wasnt planned...

Lets start from the top. Woke at 1230 when i was planning to go for aaa consultation which was from 10-12 >< slept back until 1 where i basically just eat and slack until 4. Studied FIT for like half hour? LOL. Then headed out for tennis with rafa. Tiring siaaa played match. Couldnt win even thou i was leading 5-2. End up losing 6-5.... too tired to win back 1 game... at least i didnt make his win easy~ hoho ^^

Homed, bathed, ate and chiong out to supposingly study.. but was wayyy to exhausted to study :/ so just slack and nua all the way... wasted the whole of today :(

wanted to go out with mutu tml. But she is like coming up with all sorts of excuses to reject me;( i wonder if there is a reason for doing so....... sighh~ i must be thinking too much la hor? :/ but i seriously had no mood for anything after that. Like someone just let go of a balloon filled with all my happiness and joy inside.

I feel bad for djj. Its like im bringing my bad/poor feelings onto her. Likea unfair ah... sorry ;( idk laaaa i just wanna give up on everything :( studies, life, feelings. If all those didnt exist, i wonder how would i be now? Everything is just fucked up. Thats all i gotta say... fml seriously. True love? True happiness? I feel betrayed by the very thing i used to have hope and faith in..

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done

Woke up with a bad start.. was feeling super weak and unwell... but still had to drag myself to sch for bcomm assessment! Terrible stomachache + vomit feel when on bus... thank god i felt alot better as we were about to start on our assessment! Was satisfied with our results la :) didnt expect much anw~ headed home and rest. Planned to go shooting at first but end up too weak and it was raining... slept from 12-3.30! Awesome much. Headed to sch for intern breifing with was such a waste of time!!

home, dinner than went ahma hse study~ this stupid ash forever not studying one sia >< got addicted to jubeat on ipad too!! Gosh its so much fun~

Aishh nowadays, djj is the only one i msg sia... i miss mutu. I wonder how is she, what is she doing :/ didnt chat with her for quite some time and her absense from fb and twitter means shes usually busy >< danggg i wanna go out again~ time passes real fast too! In a blink of an eye, its already aug and the year is comming to an end :/ time to sleep then! Yay for no lessons tml ^^

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