Here we go again, same old shit again.

Seems like whatever I can talk about recently is just NS, NS and more NS related stuff. Well.. Cant blame me for the lack of freedom and me-time to go enjoy my civilian life. Think my brain is already tuned to the NS signal Sian :( Gonna start ranting first. 7 weeks in NS, people are finally showing their true colours. I'm being more and more cb (as said by my section mates, esp my buddy) cause I damn gl, asshole or whatever you wanna call it. But it's the having fun kind of course. The worst are those fuckers who don't give a damn and sabo everyone. I know you getting Sian of it but just so a proper job and get over it la. Why must make us get scolded every other day just bec you too lazy to give a fuck. Damn irritated by this kind of things. Do it well, and you just have to do it once. Do it shittily, keep repeating the same shit over and over again. Fun meh?!

Moving on. Damn proud of my platoon today after the ippt test. Even our commanders were happy about it. Best part was when our sir was talking to the whole coy about the individual top scorers for each station. Out of 5 stations, 4 were from our platoon. We could have made it to 5 but oh well nvm. Platoon 1 pride! WOOHOO! I'm one of those 4 ppl too hehe :D but now I have the stress... To maintain my position as the company's fastest 2.4 runner. Only beat the previous record by 2 seconds, and it's not enough. I wanna hit my goal of 8min soon. Still a long way to go from 9.31. Still damn happy I finally did 6 pull ups and passed my ippt test :) slow and steady improvements yeaaaaa.

Mixed feelings about next week's live firing. Bad news first : sibei long waiting hours. Like literally the whole day from morning till night. Unnecessary yet  present stress on myself to get marksman if not I'm just a disgrace to my shooting history. Good need : finally get to fire live rounds ^^ Talking about this is making me miss shooting...

Linking from one thing to another, my tutor randomly WA me and my other bros the day before, saying how she missed us, asking about our current lives and for our botak photos hahaha. Seriously best tutor award goes to ms Candy! She was damn happy that we still meet up and keep in contact since year 1.1. Hope we can find one day to meet up with her too!

Running out of things to write. So just my final random thoughts and feelings. Life is kinda bumpy now. Things are not flowing in the way I'm expecting, things are getting tougher. And there's that feeling of being useless when I'm unable to help someone I care for. I miss the old life, I miss having someone to stand by. Oh well just gotta keep moving on ~ I'm starting to like this photo more and more. The ones that have always been around me past 7 years.

Another long weekend!

Another long weekend, booked out early on Friday to visit the Singapore Discovery Center and Army museum. Been ages since I last went there. Was truely ashamed by one of the videos shown at SDC. Like seriously? You want foreigners to watch that? They are gonna think that us Singaporeans are a huge JOKE. Anw it the whole trip was damn boring, but the torture ended with us being free at 3+ pm instead of the usual 9+ pm!

Congrats to those to POP today, it would be my turn in 3 months time!! Can't wait. And thanks to those who POP today, we get to book in late on Mon to let the commanders who helped out today to have some rest.

Today is just awesome lah. Went town around 1 when I'm suppose to meet my friend at 6 for dinner. Basically did whatever I felt like during that 5 hours. Quality me-time. Watched a movie (Dracula Untold), a pretty cool movie I have to say, decent story line. Satisfied my Starbucks craving and just sat down to watch the ppl that walked by as well as swimming in my own thoughts. Life is good.Life became even better during dinner time. Finally got the chance to dine at Salt Grill and Sky Bar. At level 54 of ion, the view was nothing compared to that of Swissotel but the service and food made up for that. Confirmed my reservation at the counter at level 4 before being escorted to the express lift to level 54. The dark, luxe design of the lift lobby was just the beginning. Upon reaching, I was greeted by name by the counter staff before being shown my seat. 

Wow, I'm already impressed by that. Following which the waiter(I'm guessing Australian) introduced himself to us. He provided great recommendations from the menu as well as giving the highest service level I've ever experienced so far. Impressed x2. Food came and I lost my words whenever the waiter asked how was the food. I kept repeating "it's very good" as IT IS REALLY VERY GOOD. I HAVE NO OTHER WORDS FOR IT. 

Even the bread they provided was exceptional, esp when you dip it in the olive oil and whatever seasoning it was. They managed to make plain white bread with some dips delicious. That was how good Salt Grill was to me.

Started with Cold Chawanmushi, First time trying Cold Chawanmushi, different from the usual hot ones i have from Japanese restaurants. The taste and texture was something new to me. A simple yet a great way to start the meal. 

 

[‘glass’ Sydney crab omelette, enoki mushroom & herb salad, miso mustard broth]. The name was quite a handful but basically its just crab omelette. How much can you expect from that? Oh how wrong i was. The blend between the sweetness of the omelette and the saltiness of the miso was just WOW. The crab was fresh but the taste of the omelette somehow overwhelmed the flavour of the crab. I would try it once, but i doubt i would go for it again.  

[Confit duck & mustard fruit wrapped in brick pastry, apple mayo]. Cant really remember the taste of it since it was quite sometime ago and the memory of it wasnt that deep. Yea its just average i have to say. Wouldnt really recommend trying it for those visiting Salt Grill for the first time. Would rather try something else from the menu. 

And finally the highlight of the day! [Fillet 200g, Tara valley, Victoria, grass fed

grilled asparagus, béarnaise] for my mains. Medium rare, grilled to perfection, juicy and tender. That is one piece of meat i would never forget. I would totally buy it over and over again even though it costs a bomb. The best beef I've ever tasted. Its even better than the ones I've had in UK. Legit. 

Desserts was [Raspberry souffle, chocolate sauce, chocolate sorbet] and [Mango and coconut bomb Alaska]. The souffle was too damn sweet. Even the sweet tooth me cant take it. Had a tough time finishing it. Got a crazy sugar rush faster that! On the other hand, the bomb Alaska had a crazy blend but it turned out very well. Was doubting the waiter's recommendation at first but heck, just go for it. NO REGRETS. The mango top layer followed by the coconut icecream below, whipped cream around in a crazily manner and slightly torched. Never knew such a combination could turn out so well. I aint even a fan of coconut in the first place but im loving it!!! Overall, the food quality + food presentation, impressed x3. 

Yea and when the bill came, impressed x4. This is my new record for the most expensive meal I've ever splurged on, beating my Hort Park Valentine's meal by a mile. $300+ for 2 ppl. But it was all worth it!! My stomach has no regrets but my bank does HAHAHA.

Walked and chilled around after that filling meal, both of us were pretty tired from walking around and wanted to find a place to chill and waste time, guess where we went? Foot massage. Most impromptu shit ever. But haha it was the perfect thing for my over used legs. Ran a lot in NS recently. Had to live up to my reputation as a runner. And if I'm not mistaken, I'm the second fastest runner in the whole coy. That's out of 250+ ppl. Sgts have high expection of me, I have even higher ones for myself. They said their best recruit did 8.22. Well I'm gunning for 8 and hopefully be the fastest runner in the whole coy. Gotta train hard for it though. I'd be long and painful but the satisfaction you get from it is indescribable.

Speaking of running, I signed up for Stan Chart Marathon again. Asked my PS if early Dec would be busy or not cause I wanna go for SCM, he say just YOLO. And tadah! Hahah at least I'd be a lot fitter by then, with the army training me up almost every other day. This time round, I'd be much for prepared for a full marathon. And i think I'm addicted to running. HAHAHA think I've self-programmed myself to have a happy mood whenever I'm running. Its a healthy addiction!

- The alignment and everything is pretty screwed up in mobile version so too bad ~ :P

Book Out #1

26/09/14. The very first book out day of my NS life. To be honest, I have no idea how I managed to survive that 2+ weeks of confinement. I guess my section mates played a huge role. They are just a nonsense bunch of assholes whom I like hanging around. No asshole assholes or idiots I dislike the first moment I see their face. There are a few from other sections but meh who cares about them. I find my section being the most bonded out of the 4 where almost everyone goes along well with another. There are a few quiet ones here and there who hardly talk but still, they are nice folks :)

In army, I've decided to live by this few phrases : Act blur, live longer. Don't think, just do.  Life is hard, but it is even harder when you are stupid.

Trying my best not to get 'marked' by the commanders and getting tekan for no reason. Though there is always a few black sheeps dragging the whole platoon down with their dumbness. Still proud of myself in terms of running. Pretty decent 2.4 timing of 10.40, can be considered fastest in terms of the running trainings. Speeding past the commanders is such a shiok feeling I swear :D

Training is tough but it's worth it as the results are slowly showing. Having an easier time doing pull ups now! :) Fingers crossed that I can somehow get into OCS but I don't wanna wayang my way in. I wanna just be myself, not betray my own way of living and doing things. Even if I can't, it's alright. This 2 years will be a good workout session for me! Get fit and healthy.

Knee failed on me in the last week of confinement, had to visit the MO and given 5 days of excuse RMJ (running marching jumping) for those non-NS folks. Some ppl think keng is the way to go but I find it a burden. You just sit out when others are doing the exercises and you get arrowed to do saikang work like sweeping floor. Screw it man, never going to see the MO again even if it breaks my body.

In this 2 short weeks of NS, I've really grown to appreciate stuff I took for granted before. The food in there is really shit. My dinner earlier which was just my moms standard chicken porridge tastes so damn good all of a sudden. Having the freedom to do whatever you want, not having to listen to instructions/ask for permission for every shit I do. All these little things... I can forsee, in 2 years, I will really change. But how much, I don't know. But there would definately be some improvements.

Gonna sleep soon, body clock tuned to NS life le.
RO for 27 Sep.
2315 Lights Out
0800 RV
0830 BFast
0900 Fall in bus stop tennis gear
0945 Tennis
1200 Admin time
1400 Lunch
1800 Dinner
2100 Mahjong tentatively.

Hahah all the NS shit incorporated into my life HAHAHA.

Counting down

Counting down the days to my enlistment. Exactly a week. 7 days to go. Must enjoy life as much as I can before going in. Packing my days with events with different people. Mostly is eating and chilling eh. Guess that's my favourite way to enjoy life now. Good food with good company coupled with relaxing ambiance. Those 3 things are smt I would never get in army. Shit food, strangers everywhere, training and suffering. Really changing from heaven to hell.. Really have no idea how am I to survive in NS. Prays that I have nice section mates. At least normal people? Don't have someone that I'd always feel like killing or blanket partying in the middle of the night..

In other aspects, apparently things have taken a change and it's gotten better! Making some conversation which is good news! Hahah. But I seriously have no idea what I'm doing with myself uh. Damn not like me to do such things. Must be NS uh, since I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO LOSE LE. I'm not someone who loses things easily, but when I do, that thing is intangible. And it sucks cause it's harder to replace.

Gah enough for today. Gotta go town for atas(hopefully) lunch tml. Hehe can't wait! Money fly Nvm. Its worth spending such money on good food :)

I've tried

Love is a very confusing and complicated thing. It's not as easy as confessing and tadah, you're together. Its a deeper level of understanding, caring, and loving. It's a commitment which you must put in everything you can. No holding back, no regrets, and no turning back.

Sadly, I'm kinda stuck in this shit hole of a situation for 4yrs and counting, I don't blame anyone, I don't hate it exactly too. Its a blessing in disguise I guess? You have all the freedom you want, going out with whom you like without answering to anyone else, and just do whatever you feel like, when you feel like doing it. But with all these freedom, there is that something missing, a tradeoff. You don't have anyone to turn back to after a day of havoc and exhaustion. You lack that emotional support where you can just return to that person as a safe house from everything else. Well that's that right? Freedom, sure, but you're on your own when shit happens. Relationship, sort of restricted but you will always have someone there to survive even the toughest times together.
Wow. That's pretty long for a prologue! HAHAH. On to the main point now : well recently I started talk to someone. Lets use J this time round. I met J long ago at a friends party. We were acquainted somehow. Fast forward to few days back. I met J while going for a run. Didn't had my phone with me at that point so I waited till i got home to FB msg J. Started off pretty well, but everything changed when I tried to take it further. No more replies. Bam, nothing.

The end.

HAHAHAH sorry if I wasted your time reading this. Nah I'm not really sorry at all. Like I give a damn :p

But yea, if things are meant to be, I'm sure it will be right? Even if the timing isn't right, you just have to wait right? Be it days, weeks, months or even years. Obviously you can't wait blindly for everyone whom you fancy. There is that different feel which I can't put into words. The feel varies from person to person. But based on the feel, you know that's the one. Right? I don't know...

Enjoying life the way i know best

My favorite quote of all time : Enjoying life the way i know best. Whenever its used, there is some sort of deep satisfactory linked to it. Impromptu meet up and chill out session with S. (No names shall be mentioned so lets just leave it at that) Well after all these years of going out with ppl, ive learned one thing : when meeting up with a girl, ALWAYS be prepared to wait for her. How long? It depends! HAHAH. Initially agreed to meet at 7, last minute changed to 730 when im already on the bus... Thanks ah. Reached on time(7) which is rare for me since im usually early :P Walked around to kill time, had the Starbucks Lemon Ginger. The fizziness of the drink is really too much. Dont really like it. Anywayyy, wait wait wait, S finally reached at 8.30. One and a half hours of waiting. Still havnt beat the record of 3hrs for a certain someone.

Dinner at Marmalade Pantry. The service crew is AWESOME i swear. Friendly, helpful, and some of them are actually ang mors!! Had the Basque Chicken, Uji Gyokuro tea and Smores cupcake.

The chicken was so-so i guess? Doesnt really justify the price of it. The Smores cupcake on the other hand.. WOW. Would love to have another go at it next time. After having our late dinner, headed off to Equinox, Swissotel. A bar located on the 70th floor with a panoramic view of Singapore. The ambiance was relaxing, there was live music which was awesome. Not the noisy rock band kind of music though! Is those classical/blues/jazz, smoothing to the ears, and easy to hold a conversation without having the need to shout to the other person. Loving this kind of places to chill at. Had 3 drinks, first was anyhow-order-try-luck, City Spice. Should have gotten the hint from the name, "Spice". Bloody hell the drink came in a Martini cup with a whole stick of chilli stuck on the rim of the glass. The initial sip was pretty good but the after taste was : HOT LAAA. MACHIAM EATING CHILLI LIKE THAT OMGG. Note: this is coming from a person who DOESNT eat spice stuff. Had S's recommended drink : Snowball, which was pretty good. Had a hint of lemon ;) Lastly was Long Island Tea, something ive always wanted to try but didnt had the chance. Cant really describe that taste, but there was that "kick" from the alcohol.

Looking forward to my next chill-out, enjoy-life session. All these do come at a price though, but a price im willing to pay. Both dinner's and drink's bill came up to just over $100 each. So in 1 night, 2 people spend $200. Cant have such sessions so often though if not i will seriously go bankrupt! ;(

Untill the next time then!

Game of life.

Life is unpredictable. It throws you into unexpected situations where you have no idea what to do. The more you want it, the more you wont get it, the more you dont want it, the more you get it. One can never really have full control over a situation no matter how calm he may appear. The lies that come out from your lips will never be equal to the lies your face express. Calm, happy, carefree may be observed, but deep down, can you confidently say he is feeling like that on the inside too?

Another topic.
The game of fishing is a difficult and confusing one based on the player. For some it may be easy, or others, down right impossible. The fishes varies too in the same comparison. Its all about having the right match. Even if you managed to hook on to a fish, you may not be able to reel it in. It may be swimming as hard as it can away from you. In this situation, 1 of 3 things may happen. 1) the fish gets tired and you reel it in. 2) you get tired and give up on the fish. 3) the fish swims so strongly and manages to break the line and swim off. There isnt a good probability for a favourable outcome in this situation, so its important to know the limits. How much are you willing to put in and sacrifice in order to reel it in. Its really difficult and the chances are pretty low for the average joe. But there would always be the day there you managed to hook that prized fish of yours and take it home. Its just that you have to be patient and wait for that day to come. For you may be in the wrong fishing spot, using the wrong bait or the fish might still be in open waters far away from you..

Monotone

Lifes a bore, its just the same thing day after day, week after week. Eat sleep work shows tennis repeat. Occasional going out with friends makes things interesting but how often does that happen eh. Well im stuck with NP for idk how long more, works getting way too monotonous. Slacking more than doing actual work. Its tough you know, when you slack, time passes so much more slowly.. Hope i can quit soon and just nua at home, go out chill once in a while. The only limitation is of course, money. Surviving on my pay, not relying on parents anymore.

Speaking of pay, i really dont understand, which ancient Chinese came up with the tradition of the child giving parents money when they start working. I sort of understand but i just dont get it. And i am FORCED to comply with this tradition just because im Chinese. That part i really hate. Getting stuffed with traditional mambo jumbo in the face and doing things just because im of a certain group.
Joined up for STA Intermediate Tournament, singles and doubles. Hope i dont get knocked out in the first round! *fingers crossed* Been training more seriously now for this tournament but my body is still damn weak. Getting injured easily aint helping. Now, wrist still not fully recovered from over use... Why am i so weak ~ lousy body. Lousy motivation and determination to strengthen up.

Anwwwwwwww some good news! I passed my Practical Test! The tester could have failed me on no problem but thankfully he didnt. Waiting for Driving License to arrive soon yay! But also not much point since i got no car and ive got no means to convince parents to get me one :( i really wanna drive out, no nore squeezing on the bus, no more standing on long journeys, no more physical contact with strangers which i really hate, no more thoughts on trying to kill old ppl who really piss me off with their im-old-so-i-can-do-whatever-i-want attitude, cutting queue and EXPECTING a seat to be given to them. Until i get a car.. I have to face all this bullshit :/ oh well

This life, i dont understand. Everything is just a lie. And to face a lie, you need a lie too. I feel like im back to my early secondary sch situation, just that i show more happiness instead of nothingness. Give people what they like to see and they wont question much right? Sigh idk now. Living day after day, it gets tiring.

Thank God Its Monday?

Impromptu meet up at Starbucks with Uncle Zul and TTY yesterday. Saw Sanna coincidentallly and she joined us for our laughs and nonsenses. Really too much sia that Uncle Zul. Laughed at TTY's joke and spat his hot chocolate out onto me. Still it was a fun night out ;) Plenty of catch ups and story sharing. 

Time flows continuously. Things that happened, good or bad, happen  for a reason. To live on happily is whats important. Never to lose sight of your goal or yourself. Hope you would bring yourself back together soon. Could tell from your tone when you shared your story that you were still affected by it, just trying to put on a cheerful front. And of course, the eyes never lie...

Enjoying life the way i know best :) Oh how i wish i could enjoy such a life every single day

Graduation

Woah its been almost 2mths since my last post! Nothing much recently. My life just revolves around work, tennis, eat and sleep. Occasionally meeting friends or just having some alone time enjoying life :) Im glad i had enough connections to get me this job at Estate Management in NP. Knowing lecturers on a level more than just teacher/student relationship has its benefits too. Whats best about this is the lecturer i knew who got me into all these was one who didnt taught me before. Rather, he is someone who i played tennis with occasionally. So basically its a random encounter which made all these possible! AWESOME.

Low/average pay but the advantages are implicit. Cheap food, bumping into friends here and there, near to my house, slack work and more importantly, tennis after work is just a bridge away! What more can i ask for? Friends, and even one of their parent said i could do better than this considering my education level.. But i didnt even wanna work in the first place. Parents made me get one. And its a pretty good time-waster while waiting for NS.

Speaking of NS, %&@$€<*&+!!! Hate you mindef, hate you cmpb. Need me go for so many check ups for what?! Twice at CMPB which is so freaking far, and twice at National Heart Center... Doc say no problem liao now check again for what?! Dont let me enlist best la. Dont need serve the nation populated by foreigners and the gov who does... Well... shit for us citizens! Overhead parents speaking that second sis in UK doesnt seem to wanna come back to SG. PLEASE IF IT WAS ME I ALSO WONT WANNA COME BACK LO! Hope she buys a house there soon too so i can have free accommodation whenever i travel to Japan or UK :P

Graduation week, congratulations to all who graduated! Hope you do well in the future no matter what you plan on doing!  And those who didnt.. Hmm all the best too? This is the stage where most of us have to make a decision : work or study. No matter what we choose, whats important is we dont regret it and just succeed in it! Didnt my attend my own graduation cause i found it too much of a hassle and a waste of time. Went to SP for yilings graduation, came back to NP to take photos with friends whom i was suppose to graduate with before heading back to work. Thats the main point for graduation right? Taking photos with friends. That piece of paper i can collect another day so no problem at all.

Spent TGIW at Roosevelts. Great alone time with lovely food ~ Thanks to Xinshun for giving me staff discount of 30%, no 10% service charge and another free bottle of mango beer which tasted heavenly. Gotta admit though, my level really drop le. Just 2 small bottles of beer and i seh already >< Nonetheless, it was a good meal with total bill amounting to just $23!

Wrote this post during my working hours. Plenty of work to clear but im just too bored! :/ And Ramesh started working in the same office as me today. Yayy a not lonely kid at work anymore ~ Okay wasted enough time le. Back to work

UK

Back from UK trip yesterday, too tired to write anything so here i am now. Just gonna summarize here and there cause im too lazy and im still kinda sick. So UK... Crazy ass 14hr plane ride really made me so crazy. And the time difference of 8hrs screwed up my body clock for the first few days. Look here see there, walk all over the place was the plan, and my sis style of impromtu : Research abit, head to the town, go info center and see got any nice places to go. The scenery was picturesque so was the history in the towns. Many buildings are over 200yrs old yet they are still being used as per normal. The architecture, wow. Just wow!

Went to Wales and Scotland, travelling time was wasted by playing Sodoku HAHAH. For 3 nights we stayed over at my sis place in scotland. And for 3 nights i had to sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor.... Cmon seriously?!!! Spent a lot as basically everything thr is damn ex. Proper food, min £15. Transport, £2+. Souvenirs... Ha! Spent hundreds on that. Pissed dad off quite a bit but meh like i give a damn. You have nothing to buy while i do, so dont compare. And honestly travelling with parents is such a pain in the ass. Youre in a western country, you cant expect rice for every other meal like in SG you old traditional geezer.

Like the story of Bill Gate's tipping at the restaurant and his son's tip? The same thing applies here. You were born poor but worked hard to live comfortably. I was born into comfortable living conditions already so of course spending habits would be different... You complain over 1, just 1, expensive meal but had dk how many meals on the train eating just bread or sandwiches. Wth man seriously?! Really hate travelling with parents and if so, i rather just stay at home while they go or i go by myself/with friends...

Back to the present, down with stomach flu. Such a horrible horrible feeling. No energy to move, cant eat too much at one go or id puke. And for the first time, my body auto woke me up at 5+am just to go puke. 4hrs later puked again, nothing but water. Completely empty stomach(no solids) surviving on just plain water all the way till 7+pm before i finally gained some energy to drag myself off the bed to try and eat smt. Well thank god i only got sick after i came back from the trip. Well sort of, cause i puked twice on the plane too. Chiong to the business class toilet(which was damn nice) and might have choked up their basin. Oops :p

Just hope i recover from this shit soon.. Already ruined my plans for movie with the guys today and wanna get back to playing tennis soon :/

Holidays

I dont get it, i dont want it.
But this emptiness never seems to leave.
Time will heal, time will tell.
But when the hell.
Be happy, be carefree.
When would i stop lying to me.
..........................................................

Wasting my life throughout the holiday till date. Eat, sleep, game, tennis, show. Every single day on repeat. Keep telling myself to at least go work for my dad, but my lazy ass keeps telling me otherwise.

Though the turn up was small, i still enjoy meeting up with the IBSM peeps. Always full of laughter (usually at the expenses of one person)
"Your suffering is my joy and entertainment" - quoted from none other than myself. Note : suffering as in getting disturbed/made fun of. Im not THAT sadistic okay.
Usual prata at Thompson, too late to have desserts this time round :( Otw i was commented : "you like more into older girls recently ah" ... Since when siaa!! Only that day i went NTU play w friend and so happens he was late and i had to play w this girl first ma. Just saying she aint that bad, though older only.. Oh well back to NTU again tml so yea ^^ new eyecandy(?) HAHAHA WHAT NONSENSES.

Recently watching some old American game show : Whose line is it anyway. A damn freaking funny show and the actors are damn godly. Like how do they impromptu such next level comedy i wonder. Great show to watch and to waste time :p Cant freaking wait for 19 march to come!!! London, im coming for you! Wait for me ~ Just 12 more days only! Wanna escape from this place. Wanna have another trip w friends too.. Oh well time to sleep if not not enough energy for tennis :/

Graduate lo!

(delayed)毕业咯！Although its unofficial, who cares man. 3years... 3years of THAT kind of life. I cant imagine uni life omg. I really just YOLO-ed my last 2 papers, hardly study at all and even if i did, its super last minute. Just pray and touch wood i dont fail anything and have to repeat sem... Surprisingly, when i estimated my marks, i calculated that i can score higher for the hardest module(intl econs) than the stupid intl purchasing module! Hmmmm.

Anywaaayyy, the grp sort of met up after the paper ended to sit and talk for awhile before parting ways. Or so i thought! Went to town for my intended usual ramen at Ippudo, went up the escalator and 3 of them was there. Gave each other the shocked and why-are-you-here face. Well applies more to me cause they were already guessing id go thr for my meal. An honestly happy coincidence :) Joined them for a meal at Cafe Antoinette, 4ppl sharing a salad, braised beef and pasta. Food was okay for me, the beef was the best of all, i think what made the place lovely is that posh classy ambiance and furniture! Went on for desserts at Paris Baguette followed by coffee at Dome accompanied by macarons from Canale. Talked for sooooo long. But its really enjoyable as it felt as though there wasnt anything else to think or be bothered about. Shared stories, time passed so quickly! Just enjoy life with the company of friends. How i wish i can live life like that every single day.

Was getting late and we all left for home. But for me, there was TENNIS waiting for me! WOOHOO! Talk about the cherry on top of the cake :D didnt play my best but who cares! I enjoyed myself and thats all that matters. Now, everything feels different. Theres no more studying to be preparing for any time soon. Now its work, enjoy life abit more before the government wants me. After that id have to really decide on my life : work straight, go for a uni or any other options..

Hope i make the right decision. Hope i walk down the right path which enables me to live a comfortable and some what luxurious life be it alone or if ive found my partner by then :p No kkm for supper tonight, already had a bottle of apple cider earlier on so its time for bed. Goodnights!

Hope

Its been a long time, yes i know. But that doesnt really matter does it? Everyone tells me there is hope, there is still a chance. But ive never agreed with them. I just dont see it the way they do. Some say its a good thing, others say its a bad thing. Good or bad, there is nothing i can do about it can i? Sometimes, you just have to go with the flow. Things may suck now but who knows, the future may turn for the better. Just got to keep living on. Just fate, as some would say. Dont like taking risks which i know i cant take the loss. Even though the gain is unimaginable, the loss would be unbearable too..

How i wish i can just migrate and restart my entire life. Whole new set of friends, different environment, a new life. Forget everything good and bad that has happened in the past and just live for the future. How i wish i could just let everything and everyone, that was part of my life, go. Doing that would just be running away right? Aish...

But still, with recent conversations, i vaguely came up with my life plan! After ns, get a job, earn money. Know what i really like and maybe pursue a degree in that field. And with enough money, set up my own cafe or restaurant. Live that rest of my life as simple as i can. Location, doesnt have to be limited to sg. As a matter of fact i really wish to get out of sg. Meet my other half maybe, settle down and enjoy life the best we can. If not just enjoy life by myself hahs. Cant really be living this singlehood forever too... Its just quite lacking in certain aspects.

Gosh really need to sleep soon. Last min studying before my first paper the day after! *prays hard i dont fail anything* goodnights :)

Valentine's

Really enjoyed my Valentine's this year. Lovely dinner at Vineyard. One of the best meals i ever had, also one of the most expensive too. Nonetheless its still worth it :) Thank you for going out with me. Shame we didnt take photo tgt after dressing up so nicely but oh well ~ best moments are best stored in the mind. This would be a good memory to look back to in the future.

While still on the topic of Valentines, my mom seriously need maintain sia! Why so rush and anxious to know if i have a gf or when am i going to get one. She even said my neighbor(yes we go to the same sch, are quite close and our parents know each other) was quite a good choice -.- Wa piang what the heck is she thinking sia. If got girl that wants me and i find her acceptable, i long ago jiu take liao. If not i dont need go through this bumpy 4yrs of singlehood! But ahh... I miss the feeling of loving and being loved. Been telling myself single is better but humans are built to seek love :/ Cant do anything about that.

Okay ive gotta stop slacking that much and focus more on studying now. Come on last sem le just get it done and over with! Tolong tolong dont let me fail anything pls. Even though my projects and tests are quite well done, there is always this small chance (touchwood) of doing damn badly for the final exam... Gahhh i wanna tennis more :( wanna enjoy life more :( but for now, studies. Sigh!

Split

This clique really need maintain sia. Waaay too much nonsense le. What gay-pentagon and forever with the 'cousins'.  But the heck, time spent with is always full of laughter and mutual bullying/teasing. Buffet together at Shabusai. So so lah, but the company made the experience better.

But someone told me i said smt damn mean to another. Smt i wouldnt usually say or even if i do, not so obvious until the  other person knows. And the thing is, i have no memories of me saying such things at all! It makes me wonder if the split personality is getting worse... It may sound like some fictional story or what but i think theres this good and bad side. And maybe the middle where i become comepletely moodless hahah.

Coming back, i think i have this evil and heartless side which comes out unknowingly and i dont even realize what im doing. Theres a big difference between mean-joke and mean-mean. I dont usually use the latter but sometimes i think it just comes out unconsciously... I will feel guilty for what i say/do sia :( like i didnt mean to be such an asshole.

Sigh what to do but to try and control it and be more conscious of what my actions and words.

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Not everything is as simple as you think.
The quietest people may actually be the scariest.
The happiest people may actually be crying on the inside.
Everyone has their own problems and their ways facing it differs.
We all seek joy and run from pain, but some people fall while running so its important to stop, look back once in a while, backtrack if you have to and help that someone up.
You may suffer a little but at the end of the day, you might end up gaining more :)

Metaphors

Shall write in a different style to express my feelings.

You know how a forest seems so peaceful, and when the fire starts, it is bound to burn out sooner or later. Its a countdown to nothingness. Running on a fuse and when the time comes, id be too late to revert.

No matter how much you love admiring and playing with that bird, it is not meant to be stuck in that cage. It is meant to fly freely instead of being confined. Cant be selfish ; some things are meant to be sacrificed.

By right there should be fairness, equalivant trade but thanks to the greed of people, it hardly occurs. Sometimes you gain more than you lose, sometimes you lose more, so much more that everything seems meaningless.

Pride
Envy
Greed
Gluttony
Lust
Wrath
Sloth

Everyone has them. Its just how much of each they have and how they express it.