Study marathonnn!!

Waaa i seriously damn proud of myself today sia! Let me summarize : breakfast -> school -> lunch -> study -> dinner -> study -> supper -> sleep! Damn power sia!! First time in my life lorh><

okay lets start from the top~ bcomm was actually just presentation. So i had to freaking wait 1.5 hours just for my groups turn to present for like <10min?! Omg laa~ after that was pmkt tut and i was one of those who DIDNT skip lect :p poo didnt want come into the lect to wait with me so only find her after lect to have Mos at poolside. Just at poolside i got spotted my some friends lo and keep giving me that 'look' >< lol lol lol~ its standard thinking but yea~ she not my gf!!!! Hahaha

Studied tgt.. K wrong. More like i studied while she made bday card for her bro, xiao baii~ hahhaha:D this that bla bla skip. Coincidenally met xiao bai at busstop but took different bus cause no space. Bus. BUS ITSELF! Ah irritating... Saw fir and jorel== they also started distubing me about me and poo>< like omggg?!?!!

Had dinner and then went out to study with ash and ahma again :) i think everytime we study tgt ahh.. The area at the void deck we were at ALWAYS have some event or happenings de sia!! LOL! Home, rest abit, continued studying , supper and now on bed :) only have the stupid pushed forward AAA tutorial tml at 3pm >< hope can study with poo again after that~ :D

Ohh got me a new wallet!^^ is actually card holder but yea~ love it loads! Simple, small and light! I think i got it on impluse la>< Coach... And its $200! Hahaha my first higher up brand :p burberry perfume only so cnt really count>< its a step up from my usual Armani and Fossil! Hahaha okay really need sleep le :( tired max!!!

Study.

Hehs morning took the same bus as DJD to sch :) saw Poo at the interchange too ^^ lect was boring boring. FIT released quite early so managed to find seats at makan place after like so many weeks?! Hahaha was texting/twittering/fb msging poo all the way lo>< drained both our batts :/ tutorial is like meh... Helped me get a better understanding thou since the lect was so damn dry and wordy + boring ><

Met up with poo to eat first before going to study~ had our fun, had serious time too :) well balanced! Ate at kfc after finish studying then sent her back home >< jap curry chicken rice awaited me but i was too full from kfc to finish it :( ate half since its so niceee :D bcomm till like 12? Then d3 for an hour. Bed started seducing me and i gave in :p wed meeting poo again to study~ hehehe she is fun to hang out with la :) opposite of djd! Like very hard to.... Talk in real life? Hahs kay goodnights ^^

D3 + update

Well well well~ finally got my diablo 3 and ive been trying damn hard to control my addiction! Its sucking my soul in oh my goshhh~~~ time passes so quickly when im playing d3 too>< BUT CT is next sat la wthh :( need to study!! playing can wait! Studies more impt! ;<

Elearning is over and normal lessons are back. This means waking up early again. noooo :( i want my royal sleep! Talking about sleep, idk why but i cnt seem to fall asleep :/ too much thoughts ob my mind maybe? It already 1.30am cmon!!! Let me sleeppp.... I feel so confused once more. Night after night saying goodnight to mutu without fail, but recently msging DJD and Poo more~ hahs at least i feel less bored and empty that way :) talking to them puts the smile on my face once more. And if youre reading this, nemo, TOO BAD CAUSE YOU WONT KNOW WHO I TALKING ABOUTT~ althou for mutu is easy to find out la>< muhahahha! You this stalkerrr:/

Gonna study with Poo tml and on wed after sch~ then tue and maybe wed will be studying with ahma and ash~ study marathon lets go! GPA cnt fall any lower!! Up is the only way to go now!!^^ *determined* and no, diablo you aint getting in my way! Blehh ;p

Mind, oh dear mind of mine. Would you kindly stop thinking and start shutting down? Thanks, sincerely ducky><

Wrong

Town-ed today~ while waitingfor bus at interchange saw tty! Still as white as ever! Hahs. Waited at starbucks awhile before going to buy tickets. Like big LOL only la cause we both havnt watch battleship! So watched and it was pretty cool :) got my refills for my pen too! Cost a bomb la! Each faber castell ball point refill is like $8?!?! Goshh.... And today is the day i wanted to bang wall the most!! You keep replying idk or anything or just shake head and give me that face!!!! Put me in such a weird and difficult positiob :/

Apart from all the joy and laughter. I feel as though you are not the one too.... Yes there is some feeling there but im not sure if it could work out well~ dont think i wanna pursue this ba:/ but its nce knowing you :) shall just continue keeping mutu in my heart to prevent me from seriously going insane>< still longs for the day i could hold you in my arms once more :/ i dont need anyone else or anything. Just you and im contented!

Life aint easy at all. Esp with so many 2faced fake friends all around. Not easy trusting people. Not easy trusting the right people... I know what you are doing to me but i dont wanna say anything only. Im guessing ive accepted that fact and gotten over it. I dont need you all too == im still living fine and sort of happily! The fortune teller's words will forever be stuck in my head and i shall live with it : to succeed in the future, i can only rely on myself. No one will be there to help me and support me. I shall believe that! I can do it!:D

Elearning week!

Day 2 of e-learning week gone in a blink of an eye. Im satisfied with myself though for completing almost 80% of work already! When do work, jiu seriously do, after finish a few then rest and relax :) well balanced and productive!^^ tml going out to enjoy myself and thurs will be dedicated to studying and doing work! Plus its the last lesson of jap! Nooo i love jap :( i want more lessons but just no test and stuff. IB is seriously just one big burdennn! Irritating max only ><

Anw~ i dont know if im doing this right or not. As a matter of fact.i dont even know what im doing == im going out with someone whom i met because of another friend's mistake. So is basically from complete stranger to somewhat friends??? Hahhaha complicating ttm~ but still hope tml will flow smoothly :) thats it! Goodnights :)

Kukup!

Once in a while, a getaway is needed for me to just avoid all problems, frustrations and everything negative! Could use such getaways more often too!

Spent Ytd and today with family and cousins at kukup! Its like a chalet/camp but with awesome people! The bonding and fun we had is priceless. Im sure i came back fatter too since the meals there are so huge and had more than 3 meals a day too!!!

Most of the time was spent singing on the karaoke system available in the house! Good practice for kbox next week with Mambo 6 ah!:D if not will be talking, playing games or just walking around the village!its such a peacefull village la! Everything seems so calmed and relaxed! I dont mind living in such a place lorh~ too much things that i enjoyed for me to type so yea. Shall just keep these memories forever :)

Gotta catch up on sleep now~ tml having the make up bcommm biz msg test so much prepare! As well as the telephone thingy on tue :x goodnights~


its nice talking to you and you ;)

Macro

Time now is 1.12am. I need to get up at like 5.45am later on to meet rest of family befre going kukup tgt~ excited ^^ hope everything is packed and i didnt leave anything. Thou its just a 2d1n trip la~ machiam one simple camp only :p

hahs the only reason i stayed up till now was cause i watched a vid on youtube showing a guy and his Macro. With just 1 click of a button he managed to pull up a text bar and typed words automatically, opened up his browsers, played music and opened his game all the way to the log in page before it automatically typed in the user and pass! Freaking cool la!! All those with just 1 button>< so of course i tried it! took damn long sia. So much trial and error, research didnt work cause none were helpful at all. But that sense of achievement after you managed to figure it out? Priceless! Managed to do a Macro where at a click of a button, it runs the game all the way to the log in page where it automatically enters my pass and logs me in! Awesome sia!!:D programming such things aint easy man :/ shall do more macros when i come back!!^^

sch has been even more boring and suckish than ever. Like a gige a damn la hor. Shall not let others influence/affect me that easily. Esp if there arnt truly impt to me at all.. Projects coming in, tests and exams right around the corner! Better buck up and work hard soon!:) goodnights~

Sick

Aishh didnt go sch today. Didnt do the writing business msg test so need make up for it next week.. Ah whatever la hor.

Couldnt get myself out of bed in the morning. Felt so weak and kept sneezing + running nose.. Went polyclinic to get MC>< the most impt thing~ hahahha the wait at there was insane sia! Sit there 1 hour but actual consultation with doc < 5min ! Had lunch at bbp and saw giraffe when was depositing money.. Stalker max siaaa! Hahs

Homed, played com awhile then napped till 7+ . Felt slightly better after that but had to take panadol cause headache came == sian max siaa! Tml dk if i should even go for tennis/shooting... Sat going kukup with extended family so wanna be well by then~ ahhhh

Tired

Boring day indeed.. Nua on bed till quite late, not eat jiu shi play com le... Just slacked the whole day will evening. Had a crappy dinner which was cooked too early so food wasnt hot, and not well cooked too :/ anw after that i went down to play badminton with an uncle i met years back from playing badminton :p looking back... Time really flies!

Right now im just lying bed nyaing. Considering if i should do tutorial since tml wont be that free. Legs hurting again>< time for a massage! Nothing much to write today la. Too bored so wanted to waste some time only :p

Kay..

Had a long talk with mutu ytd... Spoke of what ive kept/felt deep inside. Recent events(?) aint exactly the most cheerful or enjoyable. Sue i do experince a good laugh once in awhile but it is all short term temporary. The joy doesnt last and i always fall back to that lousy mood.

I must really learn to accept the facts and reality. People change, bunch of them are fakes and most will stab you in the back once they dont need you anymore. Yea... Felt all 3 at the same time == "i dont need self entertainment, what i need is the company of others" but its hard to find good company nowadays~ oh well. Living with it, moving on. Well, at the very least im still trying to...

Nothing much to look forward to for the next week except going Malaysia with extended family! No matter what, family is really the last thing one can fall back on. But my case? Ha! Cousins and stuff different story la, but parents.... Sighh i know they are loving, but they are showing it in a way i dislike == plus they so old anf old fashion that i sometimes dont get their logic/thinking at all == age gap ah! Living in different century one ><

Hmm what else~ lost my flow of thoughts already>< forgot what else i wanna say... Mutu? Next best date would be during june holidays which is like so damn far :( oh had sake ytd night and it was awesommeee!! Dk if i can fall asleep leh. Had an accidental nap earlier >< slept till like 9! Sigghhssss

thoughts

okayy morning met panda on bus while on the way to school. talking to her made me think of some other things that sparked off in my mind. In her case, she and another guy likes each other, so technically they are tgt. but since panda has too much commitments and stuff, they are not officially tgt. to make it simple, together but not together. this led me thinking, the phrase ' together but not together' can go both ways right? making it similar to  whats going on between me and mutu. always meeting up, chatting and stuff, together in a sense, but will never have any love-love-relationship between us, therefore not together. hehe not sure if im making any sense but yea that made me think of even more stuff lorh.

The reason i wanna be always close to her, constantly by her side. She is the type that will fall for others easily if they like her. Im like her only exception for nothing will ever happen between us again. So in my own view and what la.. i wanna keep being with her, going out tgt and stuff. Keeping other suitors away while being with her while not having any changes between us ;)  kinda selfish but whatever. hmmmm can i put it this way? i wanna be your fake bf like how you are my fake gf. Being tgt with me but not being actually together...
From now on would be my view on myself, not on her anymore. I know no matter what i do we can never get back tgt again. Its stuck in my head since like 4years back? hahs but still i continue doing what ive been doing for the past few years as i view you as my fake gf. 'Liking' only you so that i wont fall for others and hurt myself all over again. Since liking you has been the only thing i have kept constant for the past 6 years and it is sort of my protection from my own self. I hope you can accept me for what im doing la. Cause if i were to fail to see you fall into the arms of someone else..... i dont know what would happen neither would i want to find out.

good day

today~ hahaha okay la shall just start from the beginning ^^
bcomm was such a bore! hardly anyone paying attention and all just slacking/playing their own games or even sleeping >< was looking forward to 2hour break cause........... TENNIS! ^^

went straight to kismis after lesson was over. why? cause the day before while in Ourspace, we played finish our game of monopoly deal. Timothy had this idea of challenging me to a tennis match after asking if i school team or national player anot ... LOL COURSE NOT! TOO NOOB ;( anw we had our match with a little gallery made up of classmates ^^ won 6-3 ;p got $10 from it too since he was the one who wanted to bet ;/ but he is a good player la! after the match he admitted he used to be a social player(?) not idea that that meant but yea...

pmkt... fark that piece of shit module and the tutor sia! both sucks ttm! nvr pay attention AT ALL. was only waiting for lesson to end so can rush off to meet mutu for movie~~~~ ...rushing off... this caused a problem too which i shall talk later on ;/

walked quickly to bus stop and was lcuky cause a cab came not long after. reach jp, collect tickets and stuff and waited for mutu to come. while waiting~ met wanjun and her friends! dk la she say one of her friend sabo, say me and another of her friend know each other and was making that bf/gf sign(?) to the both of us >< DAMN AWKWARD PLS! WE DONT EVEN KNOW EACH OTHERRR! but she really quite pretty la hor ;p

mutu came and went to watch the much praised THE AVENGERS!digital. shall explain this now
1) couldnt find a good timeslot for 3D at JP
2) mutu dont want watch IMAX ;(
3) i only have limited time with her. we both end at 3 but she need be back home by 7 cause of her mom.

okay movie was good, most awesome part was when Hulk just picked up Loki by the leg and smashed him about! HAHAHAHAHA! after movie, mutu when to buy mother's day present at Charles & Keith. went home after that since was getting late for her le ;(  okayy now shall talk about the problem that incurred from being in such a hurry to leave lesson. during the lesson, i took out the paper bag with the Stitch in it meant for mutu which i bought from taiwan. left it under the table and I FORGOT TO TAKE IT AFTER LESSON END! was damn farking worried that i lost it for good sia! Went home bathed and went back to sch straight away. Didnt even had dinner before leaving and was too worried about it...but thankfully the cleaners held it when i went back to the class to find it. that heartattack moment man. was damn touched and thankful after that. wanted to go back yewtee pass her but she dw. So forget it lo~ pass her the next time i meet her ^^

Going out with mutu really makes me happy and forget any unhappy thoughts. though what she said to me will remain in my head lorh ;( i said to marry a rich guy lorh and she responded. marry for what. my fortune teller said that if i married or have a bf my career(?) wont be good. Hahs its good that she is independent la, if she is planning to stay single, i will still continue to stay by her side all the way. Thats how much she means to me ^^

bored + others

was bored and thus looked back at some of my super super old posts... wow things really have changed man. i even have some problems trying to decipher what i was talking at that point of time. but still it brings back to much memories ^^ come to think of it... i always wondered.. how much have i changed over the years? maybe a little less childish? maybe a little more retarded? i dont know~ all i know is some things in life will never change and i hope it will stay that way forever.

rotted my morning till now away doing nothing but watching vid on com or just nua-ing on bed ;/ going to start work on tut after dinner~ i feel like going for a run today>< hmmm should i? or maybe i should go for a run tml morning at like 5+ am? hahahaha see how la!

i see my blog like quite plain ah... lets add some COLOURS! or just colour without the 's' hehe. 


anwww~ i feel as though im losing my senses. i dont know whats wrong with me and i dont know how to help myself too. even panda can tell that im just showing a happy front while hiding all those unhappiness and stuff inside... sighh what is to become of me and my future? i really dont know. hope, if there is still such a thing left for me, please appear soon. im losing myself, im losing you. its the same actually since i would definitely go mad and lose myself if one day you were to disappear from my sights. ;(

Outing

Today in short is a great day :)
Was early when meeting mutu and her friends, joel, joyce, jaime, julia and mathiew(?) . Went to ecp to had something to eat first before rollerblading~ too much little little things to talk about so skip! Go home, sent mutu off at her station again. She really like not happy with me sia!>< got wrong meh:/ then whole day keep 唱反调 with me one :( aish so what eh? Im loving and treasuring each and every moment spent with you, from supporting you when you were about to fall while rollerblading, to pulling you closer to me to let others pass in the mrt and finally just sitting down tgt while you waited for my train to come. You just mean that much to me you know? Not because of our past r/s or whatever feelings i have for you. Its because you are you and youre just that impt to me^^ past the levels of best friends and lovers eh? The stage where no one i know has been before.

Just saying

Just wanna say it since i thought about it after our convo. I like you for who you are. I like how you have been ever since i met you, hardly changing your strong exterior personality but soft on the inside. I like you for who you are and hope you wont change no matter how difficult it gets for me to even talk to you or what. One shouldnt change just because of other's opinion. You are who you are and thats what makes everyone unique!

Glad that im going out with mutu tml even if its with her friends whom i hardly know :p

oh oh!! Today is panda's birthdayy!!! I doubt you will be seeing this but yea, here's my thought : happy birthday to you! Have a blessed 18 and no matter what happens, i will always support and be there for you. Choose who you fall in love with wisely and i No matter who it is, i wish you all the best even though i cnt hold you in my own arms. Meh thats a thing of the past. 3 years ago de stuff :p hope you will like my present too!
Quote from ahma : she already have everything and dont really lack any stuff, other than a bf la. Thats why i want to get her branded stuff. Time for a upgrade? Hahs!

And now for the less impt stuff. Skipped lect today cause was too darn tired and unwell :/ if i went for lect, i would be sleeping throughout the whole day. Rather just skip one lect so i could stay awake for the remaining tutorials eh? Hehs for the greater good~

And i really should sleep soon! Goodnights :)

Totm

Its times like this where i feel the weatest. Like this lost of hope and joy within me, this saddness and frustration coming out from no where... Mood swing? Idk. All i know is its strog enough to make me not wanna go tennis tml. If you understand how much tennis means to me, you might get the idea of my mood now. Argh i just feel like screaming it out, letting tears flow and venting it somewhere! Its times like this when i need you the most :( but its also times like this when i feel as thou you just disappeared from my side. Its just my thinking... Ive always been there for you. Even if im feeling down, i would still ignore my own feelings for the sake of yours. But where were you when i needed you? I may mean nothing to you but you are my everything. I cannot live without you. Hehs i think i just felt a tear roll down... And i guess this shouldnt be here but on my notes inside. Who cares. Who even reads this shit. Cause no one cares about the nameless useless ducky. All he has is himself, his ever so limited and little money as well as his fictional lover whom he holds on to so dearly.

I want my life to change. I want my mood to change. I want at least something, anything, to change...

All this makes me not wanna talk more liao. All i shall say is i went town to get panda a charles&keity bag.. Hope she will like it.

Sian

Im bored to the extand of doing this during bcomm class == this bytch needs to learn to talk less and be more direct la wtf!! And it seems its gonna rain soon :< why did i wear birks! Dumb me.

Ytd was labour day. I used to love public holidays for it means no sch etc... USED TO. In poly, hate it ttm! Rather just have normal sch dayd == still need have makeup lesson etc~ arghh! Nothing much to do at home nowadays too >< rewatching eureka 7 and gonna start on another show soon, recommended by mutu cause got her show lo inside :p

Imma so tired that i just wanna lie down and sleep :/ althou i slept quite late and overslept abit... Finally same bus as panda sia! She always the bus before mine de~ and her bday coming soon!!! Havnt get her present yet... Oops~

ahhh im only looking forward to tue nowadays.... Sigh!!