thoughts

okayy morning met panda on bus while on the way to school. talking to her made me think of some other things that sparked off in my mind. In her case, she and another guy likes each other, so technically they are tgt. but since panda has too much commitments and stuff, they are not officially tgt. to make it simple, together but not together. this led me thinking, the phrase ' together but not together' can go both ways right? making it similar to  whats going on between me and mutu. always meeting up, chatting and stuff, together in a sense, but will never have any love-love-relationship between us, therefore not together. hehe not sure if im making any sense but yea that made me think of even more stuff lorh.

The reason i wanna be always close to her, constantly by her side. She is the type that will fall for others easily if they like her. Im like her only exception for nothing will ever happen between us again. So in my own view and what la.. i wanna keep being with her, going out tgt and stuff. Keeping other suitors away while being with her while not having any changes between us ;)  kinda selfish but whatever. hmmmm can i put it this way? i wanna be your fake bf like how you are my fake gf. Being tgt with me but not being actually together...
From now on would be my view on myself, not on her anymore. I know no matter what i do we can never get back tgt again. Its stuck in my head since like 4years back? hahs but still i continue doing what ive been doing for the past few years as i view you as my fake gf. 'Liking' only you so that i wont fall for others and hurt myself all over again. Since liking you has been the only thing i have kept constant for the past 6 years and it is sort of my protection from my own self. I hope you can accept me for what im doing la. Cause if i were to fail to see you fall into the arms of someone else..... i dont know what would happen neither would i want to find out.