Well, to start off, celebrated my birthday differently this year. As a matter of fact, didnt even really celebrate it. Had cake with parents the night before my birthday. On the day itself, i just did whatever i felt like doing. Slept as long as i wanted, went town to walk walk cause the mood was there. Had a plesent dinner cooked by sinyee. Met her to pass me food, she didnt know it was my bday. Didnt had the heart to tell her too. To me, its just like any other day. The people who wished me, thanks :) it means a lot to me. Especially to yiling. For coming down at night after your work and 'celebrating' with me. Couldnt have asked for anything better. Couldnt have found a friend better than her.
Went to denzels house to watch us open after that. The only thing was... The match started at 5am. So before that, den, ham and i were fooling around like nobodys business. Playing dance central on kinect, watching Project X as well as Victoria Secrets fashion show lollolol. Was already dead tired by the time the match started. Kept drifting between awake and knocked out. End up falling asleep by the 3rd set. Glad that i found out Nadal won against Djokovic after i woke :) And and! Dens house was so @+&=#^]¥£ nice la omg! 4 stories with a freaking lift. Damn rich sia that buggers fmaily. I wanna be like that when i grow up. Living in nice house and enjoying myself whenever i get home from work.
Just something random but i just wanna say it. I feel as though i already have everything i Need. Anything else is just a Want. I want a new watch when i already have one. I want to custom my um3 when its already good enough. I want to get more gadgets. I want diamond studs just bec they are shiny(expensive). Me like shiny :) Hahahha! I want this i want that. Its never ending. Its never a 'i need' anymore. This is BAD.. Geez. Really need to stop spending so much on useless stuff that i dont need.
I feel as though my life is a huge mess right now. I dont know my purpose. I dont know how to keep on living like this. Its just so damn tiring you know? Every night before i sleep, i think about whatever happened in the day and anything else that comes to mind. All the time, a pinch of saddness is added into my thoughts and it makes me wanna cry every single time. I run away and hide behind my music. I push those thoughts away by exercising. But saddness always chase up to me. I cant run forever. Even my body breaks down from over exhaustion. I choose to be alone because i dont know who are the people around me that i can trust. I choose to suffer in silence cause i dont wanna burden those around me. Im not sure if i continue putting this fake smile up in front of everyone any longer. Its just killing me inside out.
It just fucking hurts like mad.
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